Welcome.
Welcome to my blog. To navigate:
Pencil: Profile
Cloud: Blog posts
Umbrella: Tagboard
Snowflake: Archives
Sun: Credits
|
|
✎
☁
☂
❉
☀
|
|
To navigate: Pencil: Profile Cloud: Blog posts Umbrella: Tagboard Snowflake: Archives Sun: Credits Artist.
Hello fellow wanderers, my name is Jayy.
I love tea, my friends and playing the piano :)
My one and only father.
Monday, October 25, 2010 | 11:54 PM
There's alot that I keep to myself. I don't really like to share my feelings with others because I find it too awkward. Last night, I realised what a selfish bitch I could be. Last night my whole world turned upside down. I was always concerned about my future, my life, my happiness. Until that incident happened. How could I have been so clueless? How could I have been so oblivous? When it has been happening right infront of me this whole time? I may or I may have not mentioned this to anyone, I wouldn't be surprised if I didn't but my family is actually worse than it seems. Yes, I have communication problems with my family but if I wasn't so stubborn this whole time I might have been able to change something. I was living my life not giving a damn what my family did. Until those people came to my door. I was so shocked. I never realised that my family was having really bad money problems. I never realised that my dad was hurt because of this. No one in my family was supporting him. My mother always going shopping, always wanting to go overseas, always buying presents for my family interstate or oversees. ALWAYS complaining to my father that she didn't have enough money to by this and that and I always believed that she was stingy... But the person I am angry most with right now isn't my mother, it's me. How could I realise this just now? My father was always supporting my with my studies, he didn't force me into a school I didn't like, he isn't forcing me into any career path, unlike my mother. He always stood up for me except when he burns the cooking utensils and blames it on me... I've been complaining about not having whatever everyone else has. Complaining about them not letting me persue my musical dream. So what does my dad do? He still supports me no matter what. He bought me a piano, he bought me all those stupid material things, I now look in digust. When I was out and about spending his hard earned money, I could've been spending less or using what I only needed. How could I have been so stupid? How could I have been so blind? My dad hurt his feet really badly... He can't drive to work and all I hear at night is him limping about. No one is helping him. All my mum does is shout at him. "It's your own fault blah blah blah." Last night I really didn't know what to do. All I wanted was to was to go hug him. I haven't in so long. When the sound of him limping literally drove me to tears, I got up from bed and all I could do was hand him some mentholated cream. I walked off without saying a word. A few moments after I poked my head out. Smelling the cream and some bad feet. But I smiled anyway.  Notepaper.
|